Mama Told Me That's Not The Way To Have Fun
by joeysgirl4eva
Summary: Dean and Sam are met with some unusual surprises while staying at a cozy inn in Vermont.


Valentine's Day: Mama Told Me (That's Not The Way To Have Fun)

The Pacific Inn was small, tranquil and didn't appear to be very busy. The grounds were well taken care of despite it being the middle of winter. If a person were to squint and cock their head to the side it could pass for a pleasant Christmas card.

Dean stepped out of the Impala, shooting Sam an amused, slightly disgusted look.

"I'd heard Vermont was lame but this, this is just unbelievable!"

"I've heard that the colors are just amazing here in the fall."

"That's great, Sam, but it's winter. So no leaves." Sam chuckled, helping Dean carry the bags inside the inn.

An elderly woman stood behind the big front desk. She smiled brightly as the boys came into the room.

"Hello. Welcome to the Pacific Inn. I'm Doris. I own this place. You'd like a room?"

"Uh, yes. Thanks," Dean said, digging in his wallet and pulling out a credit card.

"All right, Mr. Sellers, everything seems to be in order. You'd like the king sized bed then?"

Dean's head snapped up. _What the hell_? _Again_? Sighing heavily, he ran his hand over his face. "Actually, we'd like two singles if you have 'em."

Doris's face fell. "Oh, yes, of course. I realize this is none of my business. I'm just a busy body of an old woman, but aren't you two boyfriends?" she asked curiously, her expression hopeful.

"No, actually. See, we're bro…" Sam began.

Maybe he was feeling empathy for this elderly woman, it being so close to Valentine's Day or maybe he wanted to push Sam's buttons. Whatever the reason, Dean immediately interrupted his brother, an unexpected spiel spilling from his mouth.

"We've been committed to each other for over a year now and finally tied the knot last month. The single bed thing…uh, you see, David here doesn't think it's anybody's business but ours what we do in our own bedroom. He wants two singles? He's getting them. Isn't that right, baby?" Dean said, flashing Sam a bright smile.

"Uh, sure thing, _Chris_," Sam growled through clenched teeth, his smile forced.

"Oh, so you're newlyweds? That's wonderful! Well, it'll take me a little bit to get your room situated. What kind of music do you like?" Doris babbled, coming out around the desk.

"David's always been into the love ballads, a declaration to 'your one true love' and all that. While I've always favored a little classic rock. Ya know what I'm sayin'?" Dean asked with a smirk, winking at Doris.

"I think I have just the thing! My son leaves some of his music here so when he comes to visit he can listen to it whenever. Give me an hour to get your room in order. Feel free to look around in the mean time."

"Thanks, Doris," Sam said before she started her way upstairs. Once Doris was safely out of earshot, he turned toward Dean, glaring heatedly at his brother.

"Relax, Sammy. It's just…"

"Relax? _Relax_!? What the hell was that, Dean!?" he exploded.

"I don't know. I felt bad for her. I figured this would cheer her up."

"You thought lying…? Why did you tell her we're gay, huh?" Sam demanded.

"Last time I checked lying didn't bother you if it kept a roof over your head and food in your belly." Dean retorted. Sam sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair.

"All right. Do we have a back story?"

"Yeah. We met at a poetry reading in Philadelphia. You took one look at me and had to have me right there. So we snuck off to the bathroom, took care of business and you were instantly hooked. Couldn't have enough of me. And I mean, really, who could blame you? Look at me," Dean said with a chuckle.

"Dean, _please_."

"Oh, right. I forgot to mention you're an absolute animal in the sack," Dean said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Come on, Dean! I can understand the poetry reading being significant but what does sex have to do with anything?"

"What's the problem, Sammy? Every good love story has a little sex in it. Besides, what's a little sexual orientation between brothers, huh?"

Sam finally smiled, chuckling softly. "Yeah, I guess. You think you're so funny, don't you?"

"It's one of the reasons you married me, baby brother," Dean said, returning the smile.

About an hour later Doris came downstairs to find the boys in the lounge, sitting on one of the couches, watching _Braveheart_.

"Mr. Sellers? Your room's all ready for you," Doris said, a pleasant smile on her face.

"Oh, great. Thanks," Dean said, shutting off the TV, standing up, and helping Sam to his feet. Sam squeezed Dean's hand lightly but didn't let go. Staring at their clasped hands briefly, Dean turned a questioning gaze to his brother. Sam shrugged, smiling in return.

"Would you like me to show you to your room now?" Doris asked.

"Sure," Sam replied. They followed at Doris's heels, continuing to hold hands. Halfway down the hallway, Sam grabbed Dean around the waist, pulling him close. Dean suddenly found himself drowning in his little brother's proximity. Sam leaned close, whispering in his ear. "Relax, Dean. It's just a little method acting. Jerk."

"Bitch," Dean immediately retorted in a low voice, feeling at ease once again. Once they reached their room Doris gave them a key and headed back down to the lobby. Dean slowly opened the door, and both of them stood in the doorway, staring around in horror. Finding his voice first, Sam chuckled in disbelief. "Gee, honey, you shouldn't have," he choked out.

"Oh, god. Kill me now," Dean muttered.

_Don't want no conversation_

_I need sweet sensation_

_All I want to do_

_Is make a meal outta you_

_'Cause I'm a_

_Love Hungry Man, out to get what I can_

_Love Hungry Man, I tell you, yes, I am_

The entire room was covered in pink throw pillows, flowers and candles. They both cautiously entered the room, dropping their bags near a dresser.

"Is this…?" Sam asked, shutting off the music.

"Yeah, it's AC/DC. It's classic rock _and_ a love ballad of sorts… Holy crap. Check this out, Sammy." Spread out on the nightstand was a tube of lubrication, a packet of condoms, a can of whipped cream, a bottle of chocolate syrup and a bowl of strawberries.

Pocketing the condoms, Dean grabbed the whipped cream, chocolate syrup and strawberries before making himself comfortable on the bed closest to the bathroom. Turning on the TV, he flipped through channels while soaking the strawberries in the whipped cream and chocolate syrup.

Sam watched his brother for several minutes before rolling his eyes and going to investigate the bathroom. The sink and back of the toilet were unsurprisingly covered with flowers and candles. The toilet seat even had a fuzzy pink seat cover.

"Dean, you were right. This place is just unbelievably lame. Though come to think of it, we probably wouldn't be given the spa treatment or whatever the hell this is, if you hadn't told Doris we were newlyweds," Sam said, stepping out of the bathroom.

"Oh, god. You're still pissed at me for saying we were gay?" Dean grumbled.

"Well, that certainly has been an experience… No, it's just, tomorrow's Valentine's Day and I was wondering if this was your way of showing me you loved me?"

"Right on cue, ladies and gentlemen, here is Giant Emo Puppy-dog Boy!" Dean grumbled, rolling his eyes. Setting the food back on the nightstand he got off the bed, digging in his duffel for clean clothes to sleep in.

Sam smiled. "I love you too, Dean."

Dean grunted. "Knock it off with the sharing caring touchy-feely crap, all right?"

Sam only shook his head and smiled, as he got ready for bed. Once the lights were off and they were both in bed, Sam turned on his side, facing Dean.

"Dean?"

"Yeah?" came the gruff, sleepy reply.

"Happy Valentine's Day."

"Happy Valentine's Day, Sammy."

A few minutes later the silence was again interrupted.

"Dean?"

"What? Sam, can't this wait 'til morning?"

"No."

"All right. What is it?"

"Night, Butch."

Dean laughed softly. "Night, Femme."

**THE END**


End file.
